Into the Shire

Frodo sat beneath a tree
With a book clutched in his hand.
He was only a hobbit
But soon he would have to make a stand.
There was always that rumbling,
Always growling from below.
There was always that hunger which only
A hobbit would know!

Be it bacon, be it mushrooms,
Be it salad covered with cheese.
Hobbits will eat and eat well
With only their stomachs to please.
Fried tomatoes and potatoes,
Pints of ale with foam on top.
They'll take it in, take it in,
And eat `til they're ready to pop!

Elves can tremble, humans fear it,
But hobbits embrace it all their lives: food!
The foundation of their home,
Be it gathered, be it traded, be it grown: food!
Never hold back your hunger a moment!
Never doubt that your trips there will slow!
Hold your plate even higher and into the Shire we go!

Are there humans that surround us?
Do slash fics block the way?
Duck and dodge, bend and weave, boys.
Go forth, and attack that tray!
On for dinner! On for supper! Elevensies, luncheon, and tea!
Yes, it's six meals a day...quit dropping those eaves, Gamgee!

Someone has to have the hard life!
For hobbits, naught but stress and strife: food.
When the stomach demands it,
Egads, no mortal can withstand it: food.
Never hold back your hunger a moment!
Never doubt that your trips there will slow!
Hold your plate even higher and into the Shire we go!

Let the ridicule come! Let the slash overtake you!
Just pack your food away - make your own little fire.
Let the bacon crisp! Let the smell of it distract you!
You will be alright, going into the Shire!

Soup's on! Come and get it!

Someone has to have the hard life!
For hobbits, naught but stress and strife: food!
When the stomach demands it,
Egads, no mortal can withstand it: food!
Never hold back your hunger a moment!
Look alive! Your appetite will grow!
Yes, hold your plate tighter and into the Shire we go!
Into the Shire...onward ho!