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| The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, |
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| It isn't just one of your holiday games; |
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| You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter |
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| When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. |
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| First of all, there's the name that the family use daily, |
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| Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James, |
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| Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey-- |
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| All of them sensible everyday names. |
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| There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter, |
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| Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: |
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| Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter-- |
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| But all of them sensible everyday names. |
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| But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular, |
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| A name that's peculiar, and more dignified, |
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| Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular, |
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| Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride? |
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| Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, |
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| Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat, |
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| Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-- |
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| Names that never belong to more than one cat. |
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| But above and beyond there's still one name left over, |
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| And that is the name that you never will guess; |
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| The name that no human research can discover-- |
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| But THE CAT HIMSELF knows, and will never confess. |
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| When you notice a cat in profound meditation, |
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| The reason, I tell you, is always the same: |
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| His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation |
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| Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name: |
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| Deep and inscrutable singular Name. |
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