Don Quixote, Cat of La Mancha

Winter had long since taken its hold on the city, covering the place in a blanket of white snow. Its reputed beauty, however, was marred by speeding cars, which reduced the white power to filthy mush, the bit clinging to buildings and sidewalks adulterated by black soot from pollution and smog. But as most know nothing truly decimates the energetic power of a tom kitten's urge to get out and live life, demonstrated by a certain group's antics among the snow-laden junkyard.

Zap! Zap! Pow! Crackle! Pop!

Mistoffelees blew on his claws, polishing them against his white chest fur as he admired his handiwork. "Four out of five," he grinned. "Not bad. I'm getting better."

"Not bad at all," Pouncival nodded in agreement. "For the seventh try."

Mistoffelees cracked his claws together, displaying his obvious annoyance for the kitten who matched him in size but not age. "Let's see," he hummed. "You're a bigger target, so I bet I'd get you at least a dozen times. What d'you think, TB?"

Tumblebrutus took a moment to glance at the mess of tin cans strewn about the place, blackened and smoking from the Conjuring Cat's electric shocks. "I think yer right."

Pouncival snorted. "You would."

Plato lay nearby, dozing lazily as usual. He slightly opened one eye to glance at the three of them. "Don't you guys do anything but argue?"

"Not unless we have to."

The three snickered.

"So what else can ya do, Mist?" Pouncival swiped feebly at Mistoffelees's twitching black tail. Against the white background of snow, which remaining untrampled by human feet, the black cat stuck out at an odd angle, seeming terribly out of place. "Can ya turn me into a frog?"

Mistoffelees grinned wickedly, rubbing his slim paws together. "I could try."

"Alright, don't say I didn't warn you. Stand back, TB."

Tumblebrutus warily back-pedaled until he stood beside Plato on a forgotten spring mattress. He nudged the taller kitten into full alert to watch, grudgingly. Pouncival slouched on his paws, over-dramatizing a yawn as Mistoffelees popped his knuckles and wiggles his whiskers. "You asked for it." He drew back his paws, feeling the vibrating tingle grow in intensity throughout them, then with a shout of concentration flung them forward towards the impudent kitten.

He fell over laughing when all that happened was a slightly twang of sound was heard and a pathetic blue cloud of smoke appeared, drifting away on the air.

"Whoohoohoohahahahahaha! Y'call that magic? Hahaha! I've seen better tricks out of a dogfood can!" Pouncival rolled on his side, kicking hysterically. Mistoffelees just stared at his claws.

"But...I..." He was lost for words. Tumblebrutus and Plato fell against each other laughing and slapping flanks.

"Well, heheh, show's over, kits, hahaha," Tumblebrutus laughed, straightening. "I'm outta here before I keel over." None of the three responded to his padding away behind Pouncival. The golden-brown kitten pushed himself to his knees, wiping tears of laughter from his whiskers.

"I think...hahaha! I think Misto here could out-do the Rumpus Cat when it comes to fighting dog armies. All he hasta do is try one of his magic tricks an' they'll all die laughing! Hahaha!"

Mistoffelees felt his skin burn red under his fur, his fists clenched as he rounded on his laughing rival. The fur on his neck bristled. "I'll show you who's going to die laughing!" he growled, feeling the same tingle rise up from his gut and into his paws. This time a shout of anger accompanied the buzz of electricity as sparks shot from Mistoffelees's flexed claws, a flash of light illuminating the dusk.

"Whoa!" Pouncival had barely enough time to throw himself flat, paws over his head, as a wave of electricity swept over him, singing his shoulder fur. Mistoffelees gasped as he withdrew his claws, but too late. "TB! Duck!"

Instead of responding, the frantic call of his name made Tumblebrutus whirl around, wide-eyed and just in time for the static flow to smack into his white chest, barreling him backwards to crash into a pile of old crates and boxes. For a moment he disappeared under the avalanche of cardboard that fell.

"Huh?" Pouncival raised his head, laughter turning to fear as a loud crash was heard. Plato was up on his paws, dashing past a stunned Mistoffelees and confused Pouncival to the wreckage, peering through gaps and planks for a view of Tumblebrutus.

"Hey! TB! Y'in there? Ya alright?"

Mistoffelees recovered quickly and hauled Pouncival to his feet, both of them stumbling as they ran to his aide. A low moan emitted from under the pile, and with only that as direction the trio began tossing and pushing wet cardboard aside. There was little need to.

A sudden burst of sound threw them all back as a cat exploded from beneath the boxes, snarling something awful. Pouncival, Plato, and Mistoffelees could only stare in astonishment at the kitten they knew as Tumblebrutus. Every hair he possessed was on end, doubling his already brawny size. Each of his claws were extended fully, flashing through the air at unseen objects. Each whiskers stood forward and quivering, his eyes blazing with a strange light as he glared evilly at the three.

Plato was frozen where he landed on his back, and could only whisper harshly to Mistoffelees without looking at him for fear of drawing attention. "What'd you do?"

Mistoffelees's mouth fell open, only a stutter coming forth. "I...I...I dunno...."

"Which way to the city?" Tumblebrutus growled, his voice deeper than it had ever been with a rough edge of unchallenged authority. His eyes roved slowly over each cat, lastly coming to Pouncival, who scrambled backwards the moment he advanced. Tumblebrutus snatched the scruff of Pouncival's neck and hauled him up, baring his fangs. "I said: which way to the city?"

Pouncival squirmed to get free of what seemed an iron grip, receiving a rough shake which made him promptly point in the human city's general direction. "That way-oomph!"

Tumblebrutus threw him down roughly and backed away, glaring at the three of them. "For all your sakes you'd better hope it's not too late," he growled, flexing his claws. "No one delays the Rumpus Cat!"

With a mighty roar-or rather, what seemed a mighty attempt-the tom kitten dashed away in the direction indicated, leaving the others in dumb silence. After a moment only Mistoffelees spoke.

"Oops."

Tumblebrutus plowed heavily through the drifts of snow and slush coating the city sidewalks at a pace only supernatural power could keep up for long. His breath rose in steaming clouds as he panted, but never slowed. "Don't worry!" he called out to no one in particular, but seeming as though to the entire city. "There's no need to fear, felines! I'm the Rumpus Cat! No Pollicle is going to disturb the peace while I'm here! Mrrrrrowwwph!"

Suddenly he stopped, dead in his tracks, hunched and bristling at what a human would call a parking meter. Ears forward, every hair rigid, he approached it stiff-legged, glaring. "What did you say?" he growled at it, legs spread wide in a battle stance. Something only he seemed to hear made him snarl, swiping out at it. "Is that a challenge, weakling? Do you know who I am?"

In response, the parking meter's timer ran out and flipped up a red sign in its display case, which acted as a signal to the impaired kitten. "Oh, that's the way it is, then, eh Pollicle? Well, have at you!" He leaped forward and attacked, swiping his claws and teeth at the metal base of the meter. He drew back only after a moment, his weapons ringing with the attempts to fight metal. "You're an admirable foe, Pollicle," he growled, thumbing his nose. "But no one defies the Rumpus Cat! Put down your armor and we'll see who's the better. Fight, dog!" He attacked again, this time resorting to an attempt at grappling the meter's stand, which in reality looked all in the world like a cat scooting about its side, trying to catch its tail around a parking meter base. A human male hustling to the green car parked beside it stopped a moment to stare, and couldn't help but laugh.

At the sound, Tumblebrutus whirled and hissed. Before dashing away, he delivered the parking meter one last slap and final insult. "Saved by your human, dog? The end of a coward! Until we meet again, Pollicle!" He bolted away across the sidewalk, only to find his paws jump out from under him on a patch of slippery ice. Rising carefully, he spat at the impartial meter. "Attacking while I run, is it? You'll pay for that, assuredly! I have other matters to attend to, but I'll be back!" And he slipped and skidded away.

"He's gone nuts," Admetus said. "Pure and simple."

Pouncival growled, swiping half-heartedly. "No he hasn't. Mistoffelees did something," at the accusation he glared at the black magician, "that made him think he's the Rumpus Cat."

Admetus pawed an odd bit of slush beneath his paw, chuckled. "Well, he fooled me. All I saw was him attacking that meter over there like it has just insulted his mother." The white and brown tom kitten nodded to the opposite street side, where a parking meter still stood, the snow about its base trampled. He couldn't help but find Tumblebrutus's actions that he witnessed hilarious. "What'd you do to that poor cat, Mist?"

"I dunno," he snapped. His magic antics having gone wrong (again) put Mistoffelees in a sour mood, and he avoided eye contact with the others. Their decided course of action didn't make him feel any better. "Plato had better hurry in finding help, `cause judging by his tracks, TB will either be out of the city in no time or dead from exhaustion."

"Well," Admetus gazed down the far end of the street, which vanished among the tall buildings and cars in the distance. "He went that way...not too long ago."

"We'd better find him before he gets into real trouble," Mistoffelees already started padding ahead. "Heaviside knows what I've done."

In his state, Tumblebrutus was destined for trouble. Anything from a beeping horn to a bird flying away before him was interpreted as a challenge, and immediately met. It was almost certain he would have dashed out into the middle of the busy street to meet the unheard challenge called out by a painted fish on the side of a large truck if he hadn't seen the construction site. He froze, staring at it, shades of recognition twitching in his face as he gazed at the scattered rubble, stacked planks, and large machines placed on the area. "This is it," he gasped out loud, and on sudden impulse dashed forward top speed into the site, bellowing. "I'm here, Pollicles! Get back Pekes! Let's see you go to war on my territory! Garragh! Get out of here, you dogs!"

His claws were a windmill of flashes as he struck out as dozens of unseen dogs: two armies, who were preparing to battle. He could see them all around, hunched and bristling, barking up an awful chorus of noise. He saw the thick black fur of his arms and tail whirl as he dove into their midst, the fiercest thing alive. He snarled and snapped, driving them away, pushing long thick fur from his eyes. Like young defenseless sheep they scattered before him. He watched them run from atop a cracked boulder, standing tall and proud. "Go on and run, dogs! It's in your best interest! And don't you forget: I'm the Rumpus Cat!" Bellowing out a feline roar, which sounded nothing more than a kitten's caterwaul, his eyes scanned the area. "Deserted," he grunted with some satisfaction. "Not a soul in sight. I've triumphed!" And with the dutiful air of any noble he dropped solemnly to one knee, placing both paws on the ground and bowing his head. "And now I thank the Everlasting Cat for guiding me on this mission of peace..."

Unknown to him, there was a soul in sight. Several. Macavity's brow furrowed in thought as he watched the crazy antics of the Jellicle kitten. What to make of it, he wasn't quite sure. Behind him, the small mottled yellow tabby Seriah chuckled.

"Why, he's crazy as a shot cat." His statement was backed by several of the all-brawn-no-brain goons that accompanied the Mystery Cat. "What d'you think, sir?"

For a moment Macavity didn't reply, but stared in acute interest as the kitten kneeled on the ground, saying something he was too far away to make out. "To show his Jellicle face here is a foolish thing," he finally said, his jaw still sitting in his hand. "And to be a kitten. Stay here." He stepped boldly out from behind the dumpster where they crouched, striding toward the kitten with a sharp call.

Tumblebrutus snapped his head up, for a moment tense as he saw the red and black older tom approach. But his mind didn't register. Breaking into a serious grin, he stood to full height and saluted what he didn't see to be Macavity. "Police Dog!" he said. "It's about time you arrived. Where were you? In a tavern drinking? You should have been out here on duty, sir." He brushed and imaginary lock of fur from his face. "But it doesn't matter. I've dealt with the crisis. Back to your rounds." He started off, brushing by Macavity.

The Hidden Paw was honestly shocked. This cat he knew to be a Jellicle didn't seem to know who he was. "Police Dog?" he echoed, turning to follow Tumblebrutus's back as he passed. He reached out, his long claws swiping the kitten's shoulder. "Wait. Who are you?"

Tumblebrutus turned back, looked at Macavity's black paw, then shook it off. "Who else? I'm the Rumpus Cat! Protector of the innocent. Servant to the Everlasting Cat. Best feline fighter ever." He made a curt bow. "Now back to your rounds, dog."

First astonished, then angered, Macavity's face darkened and he snapped his claws. In a trice Tumblebrutus was surrounded on all sides by Macavity's followers. He whirled, baring his fangs at the grinning, battered faces around him, then with belated realization glared at Macavity over Seriah's shoulder. "Impostor!" he shrieked. Macavity folded his arms, grinning smugly.

"It's obvious you're not in your right mind, whoever you are," he hissed. "But I'm sure your fellow Jellicles will pay a fine price to keep your throat intact."

"Fiend!" Tumblebrutus growled. "Coward! Give me room and I'll fight you! You disgrace the Everlasting Cat's good name! Phtt!"

Macavity couldn't let that go. Bristling, he stepped forward, waving away his goons with a black paw. "No one calls me a coward and lives," he growled, approached Tumblebrutus to stand a full head over him. "You think you can fight me?"

Tumblebrutus stiffened, as though barely reaching Macavity's chin was sufficient height against him. "The Rumpus Cat has never been beaten in battle." He spat at Macavity's feet. "Have at you!"

The two met head-on, going down in a brawl of slashes and snaps. From their distance the other cats watched eagerly, knowing it was obvious the kitten's size and stature were no match for Macavity.

It was the sound of a strained caterwaul and a loud crash that drew Mistoffelees, Pouncival, and Admetus to the construction site. Catching the mixed scent of Tumblebrutus and Macavity, they feared the worst. The noise fell to silence as they dashed around the dumpster. What they saw, however, wasn't what they expected.

Tumblebrutus was alone, curled up and asleep. Pouncival ventured out first. "TB?"

A jerk, a grunt, and Tumblebrutus opened his eyes and sat up, yawning. "Hey fellas. What's up?" He didn't give them a chance to respond, however, as he caught sight of his surroundings. "How'd I get here?"

Mistoffelees blinked, unsure of whether to grin or not. "You mean, you don't remember...?"

"No," Tumblebrutus said as he scratched his ear. "Except...what's this about a parking meter?"

THE END